The MSN Chronicles Vol. 1: Enter the jailbait

A few years ago I made the mistake of posting my msn address on a public forum in a thread with a title including "msn addresses". It was a retarded thing to do. On the stupidity continuum id slot it in right underneath "having sex with the barrel of a loaded gun".

Have you googled for "msn addresses" lately? See anything you like? Dont worry if you havent, because id guess that over the last 3 or 4 years no less than 1500 people have done the above search and have added me. The majority of whom were jailbait from the UK who'd like nothing more than to have cyber while talking in that fucking ridiculous UK cockney-speak. And before any of you sick fuckers gets any ideas: No — trying to type one handed pisses me off way too much.

About a month ago, I decided to go on the offensive when one of them talked to me. The first few incidents were quite tame (by my standards), but interesting enough for me to start a collection of all the conversations. Since then things have rapidly gotten more interesting — the last person I talked to I threatened to skull fuck with a strap on power drill.

Anyway, heres my first couple of encounters. Note that I have no idea who tf these fags are and that, in almost all instances, this is our first (and only) conversation.

tazzy_ann: hi
scrooloose: howdy chum
tazzy_ann: where u from again
scrooloose: new zealand
scrooloose: asl?
tazzy_ann: 15/F/newcastle
scrooloose: roflcopter
scrooloose: luv, u r what is commonly know as jailbait
scrooloose: we should totally block each other
tazzy_ann: awwww y :'(
scrooloose: cos otherwise we'll have sex for sure. Then you'll get pregnant and drop out of school and live off the dole, while ill get thrown in jail and get sodomized by hulking niggers for the rest of my life
tazzy_ann: no coz i live too far away hehe so that wud never happen
scrooloose: its 4 the best luv
scrooloose: chao
[Then I blocked her ass]



scrooloose: howdy chum
scrooloose: who the shizzle mcnizzle r u luv?
n-o-f-xbabe: ahahhaha lol that funny as wat mad cunt
n-o-f-xbabe: im emma
n-o-f-xbabe: lol rhys gave me all his contacts on my list so yeah i got his contacts
scrooloose: asl?
n-o-f-xbabe: 18 f brisbane
scrooloose: i see
scrooloose: 2 things
scrooloose: first: i have no idea who this rys guy is, if he does infact exist at all
n-o-f-xbabe: lol yeah he dose
n-o-f-xbabe: y wat ur asl
scrooloose: second: i believe you have forgotten your real age and are infact overestimating
n-o-f-xbabe: ahah mate 5 more days
scrooloose: which would make you a nice little slice of what is known as "jailbait"
scrooloose: which leads me to my next point
n-o-f-xbabe: and whats that?
scrooloose: if we continue this conversation and you fall helplessly in love with me (it is inevitable baby) then, after we have sex and you get pregnant, i will go to jail
n-o-f-xbabe: right
scrooloose: where i will be butt raped by massive white mommas boys every night who just want a baby but are too stupid to realise that injecting sperm into another mans ass will not make him pregnant
n-o-f-xbabe: and i dont even no hoo u r
n-o-f-xbabe: how old r u
scrooloose: therefore
n-o-f-xbabe: how old r u
scrooloose: it is best if we just block each other and pretend this never happened
scrooloose: goodbye my lovely
scrooloose: *wave*
n-o-f-xbabe: ahha man ur werid as
n-o-f-xbabe: but okay then
[Then I blocked her ass]