The MSN Chronicles Vol. 6: http://scrooloose.justgotowned.com

There comes a time in every good trolls life where he gets completely obliterated by his supossed victums.

I was listening to an old podcast a few nights ago and the hosts phoned up a guy to shoot the shit with. Anyway, the guy told them about his new curiosity with "golden shower" porn. He described one video in which a bunch of men were lined up outside a shower stall, and each took turns hosing in the face of some fucked up bitch who must have been getting paid like tha slut. In the phone call he says the piss was coming out with the force of a fire hose and he was surprised the bitch could even stand up. Sometimes on msn, i am that girl. Its tough sometimes. The interview starts at 16:05, do yourself a favour and listen to it.

dj-unit: hey who r u
dj-unit: hi im dj who r u
dj-unit: Narjie sent you a wink which requires the latest version of Windows Live Messenger. To download the latest version of Windows Live Messenger, go to http://g.msn.com/5meen_us/122.
dj-unit: helllo r u there
scrooloose: howdy chum
dj-unit: hi who r u
scrooloose: im Ronald McDonald! the famous pedophile!
scrooloose: |-29_jun_08_2.txt*
dj-unit: wat tha fuk is that
scrooloose: all pedophile clowns have secret code names, thats mine

Actually, i bumped the side button on my mouse, which functions the same as a middle click, which pasted in some random bs i had selected at the time.

dj-unit: r u a pedophile
scrooloose: absolutely
scrooloose: theres nothing like fresh man child
dj-unit: mad
dj-unit: ur a mad lad
dj-unit: r u there still
scrooloose: no, ive gone to make a cup of tea

(at that point i actually did)

dj-unit: ok u beta cum bak
dj-unit: do u smoke tho
dj-unit: oi dont leave me hangin
dj-unit: ur not a pedophile
dj-unit: bra dont dog me
scrooloose: wtf, stop bothering me
scrooloose: im trying to jack off to some gay porn here
dj-unit: true but u said u was makin tea
scrooloose: thats right, nothing goes better with gay porn then a self inflicted hand job and a cup of tea
dj-unit: oi ur no pedophile
dj-unit: i no pedophiles and ur not 1 trust me
scrooloose: look son, are you over 16?
dj-unit: no im 15 and ur no pedophile
dj-unit: why u wana no my age
scrooloose: i was wondering if you wanted to meet up and play a nice little game of Hide The Sausage
scrooloose: 15 is the perfect age
scrooloose: nice and fresh
dj-unit: maybe were u live im in coffs harbour
scrooloose: wtf u sick fag
scrooloose: gonna have to block you now
scrooloose: toodles
dj-unit: bye bye wana b pedo
[Then I blocked his ass]

Ok, so i asked him if he was older 16 expecting he would say yes, then i could tell him he was too old for me and block him. Instead he is 15, so i ask him for permission to jam my dick up his ass, clearly expecting a negative response, then i could say "soz niggar, a mans gotta have tender meat in his diet" then apply the block. But then, wtf!? I was out-sicked!?!


__ _ ___ _ __ _@/ *lawlz* <'3_)__ .. ... ... ... . .

This next bitch was awesome. Fuck I wish there were more people like her online. She reached down my pants with both hands, tore my ass off and handed it right back to me.

scrooloose: howdy chum
zeenaa: hello =)
scrooloose: do we know each other?
zeenaa: i dont think we do..
zeenaa: hi i'm zeena =)
scrooloose: omg, thank heavens
zeenaa: ;)
zeenaa: and you would be?
scrooloose: this is the perfect opportunity for me to anonymously confide in someone about my anal bleeding problem
scrooloose: its been so terrible lately
scrooloose: feels like im sitting on strawberry jelly
zeenaa: well. you could to someone who cares
zeenaa: see i dont
scrooloose: i just cant stand it
zeenaa: i shall be right back

6 minutes later...

zeenaa: so where exactly would you happen to live?
scrooloose: lets not talk about my country
scrooloose: lets talk about my rectum
scrooloose: ive taken to wearing red underpants of late to disguise the stains
zeenaa: joy..
scrooloose: and yes, im sure you are dying to ask, i have seen teh doctor about it
zeenaa: no not really
scrooloose: i was worried that when i bent over a giant geyser of blood would squirt out into his face like on that sick episode of south park
scrooloose: anyway, i described to him how this situation came about --- with my boyfriend using those extra abrasive ribbed condoms and all
zeenaa: i'm more of a family guy person..
zeenaa: so your gay..
scrooloose: and he gave me some ointment to apply
scrooloose: which is fucking freezing!
scrooloose: but at least i get to finger fuck myself with one hand and jack off with the other as i apply it
scrooloose: never mind that my finger comes away dripping with blood :(
zeenaa: your from london?
zeenaa: damn those capillaries..
scrooloose: its awful
zeenaa: i sympathise
scrooloose: when im finished taking a giant crap, i turn around to inspect my work and it looks like a giant slushy chocolate-raspberry milkshake
zeenaa: advise would be to stop bum sexing, and start lubricating
scrooloose: yeah, thats what the doctor said
zeenaa: thats because i am your doctor
scrooloose: he advised more rectal oral sex and less ass ramming
zeenaa: babes..
zeenaa: its arse
zeenaa: and more to the point
zeenaa: bum sexing
zeenaa: get it right.
zeenaa: or just dont say it at all
scrooloose: woman
scrooloose: dont try to get all technical about gay terminology with me
zeenaa: lol!
scrooloose: you're talking to the alpha man queen here
zeenaa: interesting
zeenaa: the camp puff with the swollen arse hole
zeenaa: you've just made my day
scrooloose: my ass isnt swollen you insensitive bitch
scrooloose: its torn and ripped
zeenaa: you should feel proud
zeenaa: gutted on your life
scrooloose: the doc said my "bum sexing" must have been really violent
zeenaa: i wouldnt know..
scrooloose: because my rectum has been torn 30% wider than the average rectum
zeenaa: and please, do not refer to me as a bitch after knowing me for about 5 minutes
10:14 zeenaa: it's too common..
10:14 scrooloose: hmmm
10:14 scrooloose: how about "encrusted shit nugget on the ass hairs of a devil-spawn goat-child" then?
10:14 scrooloose: dont hear that one very often
10:15 zeenaa: nahh see you can tell it took you a while to put that together
zeenaa: that shows your not quick on your feet
zeenaa: or good with come backs
scrooloose: ohhhh
scrooloose: now you've really done it
scrooloose: im crying
zeenaa: poor you.
scrooloose: nice talking to you
scrooloose: its been great getting my ass off my chest, so to speak
zeenaa: same to you =)
zeenaa: was strangly nice to know about a stranger
scrooloose: same 2 u luv
scrooloose: c u
[Then I blocked her ass]

I left the timestamps in a few lines up so you can see that she was totally being too hard on me. My insult sucked the rigid cock of satan (gimme a break, i had nothing), but it wasnt that slow. Not that it would have mattered how awesome I insulted her, she was bullet proof! look how desperately i tried to offend her! Baby! Id break the law for you!