The MSN Chronicles Vol. 10: Algebra (and snuff-cyber)

Good evening, on the menu tonight we have three selections of prime quality jailbait. All of which are juicy and plump and feature high concentrations of mental retardation. Lets meet our first selection!

nessluvsu: umm hi who's this?
scrooloose: your worst nightmare
scrooloose: u?
nessluvsu: Vanessa
nessluvsu: how old are u?
scrooloose: hmm
scrooloose: the real question luvy is
scrooloose: how old are *you*?
scrooloose: you see
scrooloose: i know what you want
scrooloose: hardcore cyber
scrooloose: but as a practical rule, i dont cyber jailbait
nessluvsu: ok ur disgusting
scrooloose: not as disgusting as what could happen to me if i cybered with jailbait
scrooloose: namely, getting giant blackzilla cock rammed into my anus in jail
scrooloose: on a nightly basis
scrooloose: by multiple inmates simultaneously
nessluvsu: eww umm seriously how old r u?
scrooloose: ok luv
scrooloose: ill level with you
scrooloose: i calculate a %72 probability that you are in fact jailbait
scrooloose: but if you can solve the following set of simultaneous equations then i will reconsider my calculations:
scrooloose: 3f + 2c = 280 (1)
scrooloose: f + 4c = 260 (2)
scrooloose: solve for f and c plz
nessluvsu: how about you stop talking really disgustingly and get a life ok and i'm gonna go
nessluvsu: it was nice to meet you.
scrooloose: same to u baby
scrooloose: bye
nessluvsu: actually i wanna know ur name, wat is it?
scrooloose: im the son of the vile dracula
scrooloose: but you can call me Count Boner Von Stoner
nessluvsu: omg just shush ur friends that's if u have any, cant be as gross as you!
scrooloose: are you gonna fucking block me or what you dumb fucking twat?!
scrooloose: hurry the fuck up about it
nessluvsu: i dont block people.
scrooloose: fuck
scrooloose: ill block u then
scrooloose: l8r
nessluvsu: fine
nessluvsu: bye sweetie
[then I applied the block to her ass]

Wow! That's some dynamite jailbait! Our second selection features an extra portion of meat as well as two additional portions of vegetables.

ilovpetewentz: hey man wats up?
scrooloose: howdy chum
ilovpetewentz: how r ya?
scrooloose: dope
ilovpetewentz: wots ur a/s/l?
ilovpetewentz: lol
ilovpetewentz: wats ur a/s/l ?
ilovpetewentz: age sex location
scrooloose: luv, the real question is how old are *you*?
scrooloose: you see
scrooloose: i dont cyber with jailbait
ilovpetewentz: 18 and u?
scrooloose: 18 eh?
ilovpetewentz: yer
scrooloose: if you really *are* 18, then you should have no trouble solving this pair of simultaneous equations:
scrooloose: 3f + 2c = 280 (1)
scrooloose: f + 4c = 260 (2)
scrooloose: solve for f and c plz
ilovpetewentz: wot the fuk mate!? just cuz im 18 dont mean im a genious. i never understood aalgebra and maths and shit.
scrooloose: i see
scrooloose: well, talk to me again in a few years
scrooloose: i dont play cricket unless theres grass on the wicket
ilovpetewentz: why? how old r u?
ilovpetewentz: lol thats funny
scrooloose: toodles
[then i blocked the man slut]

Whoa! Real quality! Lets move along to our final selection!

scrooloose: howdy chum
scrooloose: who the shizzle mcnizzle r u luv?
scrooloose: im going to assume that you're jailbait
scrooloose: in which case there can be no cyber
scrooloose: unless of course, you can solve the following set of simultaneous equations:
scrooloose: 3f + 2c = 280 (1)
scrooloose: f + 4c = 260 (2)
scrooloose: solve for f and c plz
loo-lou: wtf
loo-lou: huh???
scrooloose: f and c?
loo-lou: wat does that mean
loo-lou: ...
scrooloose: luv, there is this thing
scrooloose: called maths
scrooloose: it gets taught to most people
scrooloose: unless they are retarded, or are a little starving black kid
loo-lou: thats soo horrid
loo-lou: the answer is
loo-lou: FUCK U
scrooloose: i see
scrooloose: clearly you are underage
scrooloose: and hence, dont qualify for tha cyber
scrooloose: you do however, qualify for snuff-cyber
loo-lou: im 21
scrooloose: are you ready?
loo-lou: yer
scrooloose: i walk over to you with a massive erection, the size of a cricket wicket
loo-lou: yerr
scrooloose: with only a fraction of the power in my bulging biceps, i completely rip off your clothes
loo-lou: :P
loo-lou: then
scrooloose: with extreme erotic prowess, i blind fold you so sexually that you spontaneously have an orgasm
loo-lou: ooh
scrooloose: little do you know at the time, but that is the last orgasm of your life
scrooloose: you lie on the bed with your legs dangerously wide
scrooloose: you hear a click and the sound of buzzing
scrooloose: you smile, assuming that you are about to be jammed with a vibrating dildo
scrooloose: but its actually an electric chainsaw
scrooloose: but you are half right
scrooloose: you do get jammed with it
scrooloose: i insert the blade into your dripping vagina
scrooloose: and turn it up to full power
loo-lou: ewww
loo-lou: go on cam
scrooloose: you scream and try to run away, but i throw several angry kittens at you, tripping you up
loo-lou: ok
loo-lou: thats horny
scrooloose: you fall of your face, with your ass in the air
scrooloose: your ass is so tempting
loo-lou: uhuh
loo-lou: :P
loo-lou: i know
scrooloose: i cant resist tapping it
loo-lou: u shove your big dick in it
scrooloose: hence, i put on my strap on cactus
scrooloose: and jam your ass with it
loo-lou: oh yerr
loo-lou: feeels gd im sure
loo-lou: webcam???????????????
loo-lou: webcam?????????????
scrooloose: the poisonous barbs scrape open your large intestine, before bursting through your stomach
loo-lou: thats sick
scrooloose: spilling out a torrent of acidic fluid
scrooloose: melting your liver
loo-lou: [c=28](*) Louise (*) [/c] sent you a Voice Clip which requires the latest version of Windows Live Messenger. To download the latest version of Windows Live Messenger
loo-lou: stop it
loo-lou: thats sick
loo-lou: not horny
scrooloose: which promptly dribbles out your asshole in a thick red gooey mess
loo-lou: and then wat
loo-lou: u die wooo
loo-lou: [c=28](*) Louise (*) [/c] sent you a Voice Clip which requires the latest version of Windows Live Messenger. To download the latest version of Windows Live Messenger, go to http://g.msn.com/5meen_us/122.
loo-lou: ...
scrooloose: it is then that i start to feel horny
loo-lou: really
loo-lou: go on webcam
scrooloose: shut the fuck up slut
loo-lou: pleasee sexy beast
scrooloose: this is art
scrooloose: and you're ruining it
loo-lou: no
loo-lou: go on cam
scrooloose: omg
loo-lou: wat
scrooloose: why the fuck would you want to go on cam with someone who is in the process of snuff cybering your ass?
scrooloose: are you fucking retarded?
loo-lou: u deleted mate your some sick minded spazz perv
scrooloose: do you want to be stalked then buttfucked to death with a strap on chainsaw?
scrooloose: wtf
loo-lou: your deleted
loo-lou: and reported
scrooloose: hurry the fuck up about it then you slut
loo-lou: reported (Y)
loo-lou: no longer can u pick on young girls HAHA
loo-lou: bye
scrooloose: bye (K)
loo-lou: freak
loo-lou: i wanna c your cock first
loo-lou: ...
scrooloose: im a girl you dumb dyke
loo-lou: no your not
loo-lou: lets c then
loo-lou: ..
[then she ran for her fucking life]

Its funny, after everything I put these people through, many of them don't actually want to block me. Sometimes it's hard to understand. I mean, look at the last conversation, I applied the strap on cactus, melted her liver with her stomach acid etc, then called her a "fucking retard" and a "slut" and threatened to rape her to death (rectally) with a strap on chainsaw. Then she asks to see my cock. WTF?!

The psyche of jailbait boggles the living shit out of me.

By the way, just so you can sleep tonight: f = 60, c = 50.