Why I just shampooed my jewels (A christmas tale)

I just had a shower. It was that time of the month.

While making the preparations to wash my hair, I squeezed way too much shampoo onto my hand. I thought to myself, "Fuck a duck! What am I gonna do with all this fucking shampoo?!" I sure as fuck wasn't gonna use it on my head or I'd walk into work tomorrow looking like I'd just sucked off a stun baton. So, in a spur of the moment kind of decision, I shampooed my pubic hair.

You may ask (but really, i'm telling the story so fuck off) why I would do such a thing, and I thought about this while I was working up a giant soap beard on my sack... The function of pubic hair is to keep your balls warm enough for you to get an erection. Shampooing your nuttsack will remove all the natural oils and what not from the hair, thus making it significantly fuzzier and warmer. In this light my actions make perfect sense.

Think about it! Next time a woman removes your pants and tells you she wants you to jam the rooster in the hen house, do you really want to have to tell her your balls are too cold because you didn't shampoo them last night?

Well, for the next few days at least, I won't be that guy!.